Backtracking and Bouncing Forward

After a long hiatus, I had originally planned to pick up my blogging pace by catching up on the fun and festivities we enjoyed over the holiday season. I managed to finish a long overdue draft I'd started on Planning and (Almost) Executing the Perfect Twin 1st Birthday, but after that, I found myself revising and revisiting the same old drafts I'd started without having anything resembling a good flow. Seems like the long break dried up my creative juice reserves, and I was seriously lacking the enthusiasm to retell our adventures with the same passion and eagerness that I had before.

I took that *in a rut* moment to indulge in a little self-reflection while I reviewed old blog posts. Mostly because I'm nostalgic, partially because I was seeking motivation to continue writing, but also because I realize that our life here changes drastically in intervals of just a few months, and it's interesting to look back and see how much we've grown, both parents and children alike. What surprised me most was noticing how what seemed like a lifetime ago happened in just under a 2-year time span.

I relived my pregnancy woes and delivery mishaps in How To Completely Foil Your Birth Plan.  It reminded me of how lucky my husband and I are that we didn't have to experience the worst-case-scenarios some parents are faced with in the delivery room. It made me take pause and look down at the sleeping two-year old curled up beside me with his foot propped up on the corner of my laptop and - BAM! Supernovas exploded in my chest, an atomic collision of the exquisite love, attachment and unyielding devotion we have for our children. It truly is so powerful, it makes you suck your breath in and put your hand to your chest, all Fred Sanford-style. Best. High. EVER.

I revisited our first bouts with sick infants in When Viruses Strike: Welcome to the S.U.C.K. (Sick Unruly Crying Kids), where I used adjectives such as "grisly," and descriptives like "full-blown crisis situation". HA! Three sick kids can rock your boat, for sure - but my *newbness* rendered me as dramatic as a teenage girl when it came to recanting it. Several snot-nosed, congested chests later and I barely flinch when they take on a cold. I am now Master of the Saline Bulb and rectal temperature readings no longer make me grimace. Since then we had a major toddler accident that involved a split lip, enough blood to soak a super tampon, and a scar that is still slightly visible on my son's precious face. Did I cry? Of course. A mother can't help but feel anguish at the sight of her child in pain.  But it didn't throw me into full-fledged alarmist mode where I ripped out or cushioned every sharp right angle in our home. I've learned that crisis hurdles like that are best dealt with swiftly, patched up accordingly, and then you move on with the quickness so that you don't turn into the Smother Mother who constantly coddles and overprotects her children. Germs and viruses are a part of life. Accidents are going to happen. That said, the influenza strain this season has left 41 50 people in my state dead - so I've avoided taking the kids to shopping malls or grocery stores until this mild epidemic passes. There is indeed a fine line between exercising caution and becoming totally agoraphobic during flu season. I like to think we have erred on the smart, cautious side.

It's been six months since I wrote Co-Sleeping, A Year in Review:, and my stance hasn't changed, even though the size of my son's feet and the downright hog-like behavior he partakes in when sleeping horizontally between my husband and I has changed dramatically. We still talk about transitioning him to his toddler bed, but it's mostly just a bunch of hot air we blow off when we wake up in the morning with bruised ribs, having been robbed of both our pillows and our covers. We feel like we'll know when the time is right when it's convenient for him, not for us. A year and a half of co-sleeping, despite the myths, hasn't 1) ruined our sex life, 2) made our son any less independent, or 3) posed any sort of psychological issues with any of us. I know for a fact that I'm going to miss him when he decides on his own that he wants to sleep in his own bed - with a little cajoling from me and dad, of course. We definitely don't want a five or six year-old between us, and pretty soon our twin daughters are going to insist that our oversized King bed looks more comfy and inviting than the confines of their cribs. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I blogged about organizing kid clutter, when I had no idea how much worse it would get after getting a couple of Christmas's and birthdays behind us. We still take every opportunity to be silly, mostly because we're dorks, partially because it helps keep us sane. I still have moments of self-loathing when I look down and see that my abdomen is quartered into horizontal rolls, as opposed to quadrants of flat muscle.

But I must say, out of all the topics I'd covered on our experiences as parents, the Litmus Test of Parenting and Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This had to be the two biggest instances I opined about that today's perspective completely squashes. They don't grow out of driving you crazy. You just grow used to that brand of crazy and it no longer phases you to be in that state.

Revisiting the words of your past (and not so recent past!) can give you a fresh perspective on the days to come. For me, it makes me feel wiser, more seasoned, and affords me the opportunity to take jabs at myself for the Epic Parenting Fails I now consider to be innocent rookie mistakes.

We're excited about the year ahead of us, as we've got huge plans ahead of us which involves (another) massive remodel of our home, a crash course in early education methods, and plenty of time to stress about the two until we get to that point.

Till then ... enjoy our Halloween and Christmas photos (that are so overdue and outdated due to gross neglect of blog posting that it's no longer relevant, but rather a shameless plug on how freakin' adorable our youngsters are)

BEST.COSTUME.EVER.

THIS Princess wasn't impressed with the Halloween Carnival. At all. She grouched the whole time.

Is he excited, or infuriated? We don't know, either.

This is going to be a great Throwback Thursday photo to haunt their (insert future media site) with.

It was 90 degrees at the carnival. Can you imagine how that suit must have felt?

The weight of the bow on her head finally collapsed her.

He is smiling, but his limbs are expertly fighting us off as we try to make him wear a Santa hat for a photo. 

This is her "I left your Christmas present in my diaper" face.

Planning and (Almost) Executing the Perfect Twin 1st Birthday

Most parents are eager to go to extremes to make their children's birthdays fun and memorable. Even when the kids are under five, a time when most of the extravagance is lost on their young minds and tissue paper and boxes are the true hit for them, we find ourselves going overboard with the birthday festivities. Is it for the photo op, something you can share with them when they're older so they can look back and think fondly of how much thought and effort their folks put into making their parties fun? That kind of appreciative retrospect doesn't hit until they're in their late twenties, if even then. I've concluded that we do it as much for ourselves as for our kids, and that planning and executing the perfect party is, for us, waxing nostalgic on birthdays we wished we'd had - or at least improving upon them. One-upping our own parents, if you will. And boy, did we ever!

When you're operating as a stay-at-home mom in a family of five on one income, your purse strings are cinched and your budget is very thin. I felt inspired on what I wanted to do for my twin daughters first birthday, but clueless on where to begin. Pinterest had some good ideas for DIY party planning, and Etsy had some great deals on props and outfits. I've never been the crafty sort, but this time I schooled myself hard on some of this DIY stuff, and enlisted the help of my best friend who is the Crafting Mogul Extraordinaire. Together, we pulled off a pretty awesome Twin Girl 1st Birthday, even though the circumstances ultimately ended up working against us.

Our theme was Fairy Princess, and in a perfect world where dad's wallet was a bottomless money pit, I would have opted for the freshest, most beautiful floral arrangements money could buy. I wanted there to be pretty flowers strewn about as far as they eye could see, and even silk flowers are expensive, so we opted to make coffee filter paper flowers. I'd love to credit the exact tutorial I found to do these, but I ended up using several different methods from several different tutorials and the truth of it is - I never bookmarked them. So I'll attempt to recreate the tutorial from memory as best as I can.

I used several packs of both small and large coffee filters, which you can snag at a Dollar Tree store, which I did - but I also had awesome friends who just happened to become ex-coffee-drinkers and just happened to have filters stockpiled. For the dye, I used several (extremely old) packets of Kool-Aid that I found stowed away in our pantry. Scotch tape and staples were the only other extra expense. Like I said, I wanted TONS of flowers, so I knew this was going to be a long, drawn-out undertaking. I needed to do these in bulk, and in my spare time, which is sparse at best.

I dyed the filters in the sink, because it can get pretty messy. The first night I failed to wear gloves so my fingernails and cuticles were several different ugly shades for a day or two. Doh! I'd add the kool-aid to a bowl and mix with water, submerse the filters until they reached the desired color, and then wring them out until they were only barely damp. Coffee filters are RESILIENT! The good part about using kool-aid instead of dye is that they smelled like strawberry, grape, blueberry and lemon-lime:

Then it was time to lay them out to dry. They were literally strewn everywhere until I finally figured out that sticking the damp colored filters in the clothes dryer would shave off many hours of wait time. This wasn't included in the original tutorial, but this improvisation gave an awesome effect by making the filters crinkle up and become less stiff and more pliable. 

The most labor intensive part of the whole ordeal was flattening out a HUGE mound of coffee filters so they could be sorted and pressed. It doesn't look like it, but there's at least 900 coffee filters here:

The sorting of colors, then the pressing them in a stack of books to rid of dryer wrinkles. Others may iron them out, but seriously - who has time for that? The pressing left just enough fine creases to make the flowers look real.

The folding was a bit cumbersome and I'll admit that the first twenty or so looked kind of pitiful until I got the technique down pat, but this craft was well worth the time and effort! After the filters dried, six were stacked evenly, folded in half, then in half again. The edges were scalloped with scissors while all folded up. They were unfolded, and dented in the center until I had a "grabbable" stem to hold onto. I scotch-taped the stems to make them more stiff. Then I just scrunched up each layer of filter until the flower shape was achieved. 

I had TONS of colored shreds of filters leftover, and frugality can sometimes lead to invention. I decided to save the shreds and was glad that I did! I ended up using them inside the clear vases I used for the DIY cupcake tier. It matched the flowers perfectly since they were literally cut from the same stock. If you make coffee filter flowers - save those shreds! I thought of a thousand other uses for them.

 We had pink, purple, white, tie-dyed colors and a few light blue flowers strewn everywhere! After they were dyed, dried, sorted and pressed, I'd often take a few stacks in the bedroom with me at night and fold flowers in bed while watching television with my husband. I was pretty proud of these little gems!

A few more homemade decorations were made, like these cardboard circles I'd planned on using behind their high chairs. Markers, stickers and poster-board petals, which hadn't been glued yet:

My BFF Tracy helped me make such an awesome homemade cupcake tier using plastic platters and clear vases from the Dollar Tree. Some of THE BEST cupcakes prepared and decorated by said bestie made for an awesome table arrangement. I made pink Jello in plastic wine glasses leftover from our wedding. The *Smash* cupcakes were HUGE and intricately frosted. A plastic tablecloth was tied as a valance from two doorways. The result was a very nice birthday table! I found a few leftover dyed coffee filter circles hiding in a book and since they hadn't been cut, we used them as doilies underneath the silver Dollar Tree platters.

The balloons were up. The cutesie little princess tutu outfits were steamed. The little crocheted barefoot sandals with pearl buttons and floral embellishments were set aside. We were ready to throw the biggest, bestest twin birthday party EVER! *cue doom music*

...The morning of the party, our little Samantha woke up with 104° fever and cried non-stop. We tried bringing the fever down with children's Tylenol, but the mercury never budged. We ended up taking her to the emergency room after family (and some friends) had arrived bearing gifts and ready to party. With a "show must go on" determination, we left bestie Tracy in charge, notified the rest of the invited guests, and dressed sister Sophia in her party outfit. Luckily the viral infection Samantha had was relatively short lived, but it was a stark reminder of how no matter how much time, effort and preparation you put into a party - be ready to initiate a PLAN B to fall back on when the unthinkable happens.

Sophia shined that day, but she was acutely aware of her sister being absent for most of the party. Although we were relieved that Samantha's condition was going to improve and we were able to bring her home, it was weird seeing Sophia all dolled up without her sister by her side.

When Samantha returned from the E.R., she was in no mood to party. She just wanted to whimper and lay her head on someone's chest. She was a trooper as she watched her sister open their collective presents.

The next day, her fever was gone and Samantha was on the mend. We'd left all the decorations in place. We dressed her up and let her celebrate her 1st birthday with her twin sister, who naturally came down with the same virus several days later. It was great seeing them celebrate together even though it wasn't at the actual party! And who can resist photo ops in matching tutus?

SMASH-CAKE TIME. You're never too sick to smear frosting on your sister and enjoy some Jello "champagne"!

I'm not saying I'll never spend weeks preparing for another one of my kid's birthdays. I'll just be less shocked when it goes awry and we have to resort to a contingency plan. The most invaluable asset we had was a really good friend who was able to orchestrate things in the event of Mom & Dad's unexpected absence. It also helps that this friend is an excellent baker, can decorate cakes like a woman possessed, and crafts like a mother, too. Every mom of multiples needs a Tracy in their life!

Little Social Creatures

Though not recommended by professional bloggers or most internet enthusiasts who religiously journal in their sleep, I must say that taking an impromptu month-long hiatus from my *notebook* has afforded me a big, much-needed gulp of fresh air. I had recently written about how unremarkable September usually is, and for what it's worth, I still stand by that observation. If I were to compare the entire month of October to the month prior, the change would be so drastically stark that I'd be tempted to think that I was experiencing parallel universes. Just when we think we have our feet firmly planted and our grip white-knuckled and tight, life has a way of spinning us into a complete 360° turnaround. We ritualistically rolled with it, kicking up only a minimal amount of dust. Now as the end-of-month draws near, we take another deep breath as we prepare to usher in the holidays and simultaneously laugh, cry and sigh all at the same time. Memories made; memories in the making.

I was in the throes of planning a party (that tanked due to uncontrollable circumstances), we had the pleasure of a new daily houseguest, and we experienced, for the first time, taking one of our kids to the Children's Hospital emergency room. What follows is the first slice of what is going to be my 3-part missive detailing our busy October.

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As part of our How-To-Make-It-On-One-Income scheme, we decided in favor of taking on an additional child in our home versus me working part-time nights at a call center. The decision was swayed by several factors, but the two biggest deciders were me being able to be present for our family dinners and the kid's bedtime routines, coupled with the incredible luck we had in finding a couple who we knew very well in need of our services for their sweet nine-month-old daughter. It seemed to be a perfect fit, and although we were in the middle of planning for the twin's birthday, it wasn't too big of a change to our routine. My girls enjoyed her company and it was funny watching my nearly 2-year-old son get all wound up with the extra estrogen addition in the room. His antics were turned up a notch or two, as if having a wider audience demanded more stellar performances. It's both notable and hilarious to watch the usual family dynamic flip with an extra baby thrown into the mix. While our routine may not have changed much, our goals certainly did.

Our girls learned a lot from Emma, who at the tender young age of 9 months has the physical agility of a 12-15 month-old. She pulls up, she stands up, and she started cruising literally days before joining our little circus. Watching your child watch another child is amazing. It gives you an interesting dashboard view of what they strive to be capable of. It was quite apparent that Samantha fiercely desired to join Emma in the Land of the Bipeds as she worked her otherwise lax little butt off trying to stand alongside her at the activity table. Sophia greedily coveted her lung capacity and mimicked the volume of her screams, squeals and baby vocals. In BabyVille, time is warped to the point where leaps and bounds literally transpire by leaps and bounds. The first week in her company, Samantha started trying to pull up. New sounds emitted from the usually-silent Sophia, and she turned her volume up a few decibels. My son Adler, an unwilling participant in what I fondly referred to as the Hen Party, asserted his male dominance and imagined superiority in typical rooster fashion, taking every opportunity to show off and act out. He very briefly reverted to infantile whining as a means to ask for things he wanted, but I'm almost certain that the behavior is typical of almost-2-year-olds who are still struggling to fully verbally communicate their needs. 

Although the first week went by quickly, with only a few minor naptime routine hiccups and no major disasters, we found ourselves once again a party of three kids when week two was interrupted by a not-so-minor illness that had us quarantining our children from visitors. More detail to come in a later post, but that short break warranted a do-over of our "get to know each other" acclimation period when the childcare resumed after we all got better. Small children have a very limited recollection, and although Emma wasn't a complete newbie to our kids, it was almost like they just picked up right where they left off. Fortunately for me, her parents are the cool, mellow sort who have the great sense of humor to tolerate the silliness in our household, and wasn't at all opposed to the myriad of crazy photo-ops, videos and shenanigans we partake in around here. There were so many opportunities to don the three girls in silly hats, costumes and situations that I nearly filled up my iPhone with pictures of just the Hens At Play. Emma's mother even provided some of the props (faerie wings, tutus and girly skull caps) for our fiascos! 

I've mentioned before how incredibly lucky I am to have the services and the good company of my elderly dad with me each day, despite the fact that he's getting kind of long in the tooth. He absolutely LIVES for his grandchildren, and it was unfortunate that his health took a left turn on us, rendering him a lot less capable of pulling 8-hour days wrestling and wrangling the children with me. We decided unanimously as a family that he'd scale back his full days in order to take better care of himself. To be fair to both Emma and her parents, we made the decision to opt out of the childcare arrangement for now, as I just wasn't confident or capable enough to handle four kids under two all by my lonesome while nursing a sick dad back to health.

I was and still am grateful to have had the opportunity to socialize my babies for that short period, as I learned a great wealth of information on where their shortcomings were, where their strengths lied, and what we would strive to work on developmentally. I look forward to watching them grow up surrounded by other kids as they get older and to take note of how they interact with each other as they mature. They'll be learning to be moral animals with the human advantage, and the behaviors and social skills they pick up along the way will no doubt shape how they fit into society. Siblings interacting with one another is interesting, but throw in another child outside of their *pack* and you begin to notice new personalities emerging, new behaviors forming, and even new goals that they seem to set for themselves as far as "catching on" goes. If, as they say, there is always an underlying competition present in children, I can testify that there is also a camaraderie and benevolence that is subtle and unspoken, but definitely there. Our little people already have empathy and cooperation hard-wired into their brains, so it stands to reason that it's important to nurture and guide them while you purposefully surround them with their peers. 

We look forward to future playdates and more socialization as our schedule allows! 

Frighting, Feasting, Fa-La-La-La-La-ing

The month being halfway over and Labor Day already a big blur in our rearview mirrors, what we're experiencing now is the calm before the holiday storm. The newsflash here is that we're nearly through the halfway mark of this calendar square, and Captain Obvious is here to report to you that there's only a little over two weeks left to rejoice in the unremarkable-ness of the tail end of grey, drab September.

It's actually bright, sunny and quite balmy in my particular place on the map. The warm climate here in my region belies the upcoming cool crispness that prefaces the holiday season and ushers in winter, but I'm going to stand firm in my choice of descriptive color for this month. It matches my mood every September, as it's right on the cusp of the huge holiday trifecta, The Big 3: Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Knowing it's time to start bracing myself for all the tomfoolery that we all shamelessly partake in over the next hundred days, I both look forward to it and dread it, all at the same time. The extra financial strain, the buyer's remorse, the joy of watching your young children discover the magic to be had, and the time spent with family - such a joyous, crazy mixture of highs and lows, you don't know whether you should anticipate it, or feel trepidation towards it. Either way - the middle of September signifies that it's all right around the corner, so you'd be wise to prepare yourself for it. I'd normally spend the bulk of September enjoying the calm, quiet and tranquility before all the craziness hits, but let's be real: I have three children under two, and that kind of luxury has become a relic of the past.

My children are very young, and were cursed with being born in the latter months, where birthdays fall during the most expensive, hectic time of year. Although they all three officially have one Christmas under their belts, they're too new to this world to have fond memories of the past to draw from, yet they're just at the ripe young age where an awareness of the seasonal festivities will begin to resonate with them. As a parent, I feel an extra responsibility to mould their memories-in-the-making into something realistic enough to be able to pull off each year, exciting enough for them to be foaming at the mouth over it, and special enough to instill into their pliable little minds the importance of giving, of family, and of gratitude. I know that everything we do from here on out regarding the three big holidays will set the traditions they will reminisce about when they mature into adults, possibly even choosing to adopt the same celebrations and observances for their own families.

Some people don't count Halloween as a major holiday, but my husband and I are fright fanatics, having actually outspent ourselves for two years in a row on Halloween over Christmas. We'd host huge costume parties, turning our home into a house of horrors that would take weeks to decorate. We schooled ourselves YouTube-style on special effects tutorials and spent what is now our diaper and formula budget on make-up and costumes. Our buffet table included the pumpkins puking yummy guacamole, Jello body parts floating in the punch, and spiders crawling out of the black bean dip.

Most of the eerie extravagance we painstakingly perfected has been permanently shelved for the next decade, as we don't want to frighten the devil out of our young children with our life-sized ghouls and scary special effects strewn about. While we won't be able to expose them (yet!) to the stuff nightmares are made of, we very much want them to enjoy the tradition of dressing in costume and trick-or-treating that we did when we were young. It's really the only time of year that you're given the license to be in full character for an entire night, and I truly believe that it will foster great creativity and imagination in them. As they get older, we absolutely look forward to giving them the good, proper scares that most people delight in. I believe it helps draw clear lines between what's imaginary make-believe and what's real, and hopefully those important distinctions will spare them from becoming prey to superstition and the kind of irrational fear that serves no real purpose. I'd like to have them host their own holiday parties for their friends and enjoy the make-believe illusions of witches, ghosts and goblins.

After Halloween, all the faux cobwebs are taken down and the triangular carved eyes in the jack-o-lanterns start to wilt. The television, mailbox, online media and drive-by advertising is inundated with the message to SHOP SHOP SHOP SHOP SHOP SHOP, because Christmas is right around the corner. It's not enough that most department stores have already put out Christmas gear in order to reel you in sooner. We're constantly reminded that there are only X amount of days left to part with our money, get our houses and yards elaborately covered in lights before the neighbors outdo us, and time to rearrange the living areas of your home to make room for the tree, the villages, the stockings, the poinsettias ... but whoa! There's still a few weeks to procrastinate. Relax! It's time to feast!

Thanksgiving is, hands down - the best four-day weekend of the whole year. The food. The football. The family gatherings. I can't think of anything off-putting about the Thanksgiving holiday except for the silly American tradition of Black Friday. Even before I had kids, I boycotted Black Friday simply as a gesture of waving my middle finger at the ugly side of gluttonous consumerism. Now that I'm a mom, I will be (discreetly) flipping not one, but TWO middle fingers at the entire ruse that I feel is an embarrassment to our otherwise decent nation. I'd like for my children to realize that there is no amount of discount, no product so "hot" that could warrant mingling with a mob of people fighting over items, afflicted with a case of rabid consumerism that turns ordinarily friendly folks into street brawlers. We'll be spending the Friday after Thanksgiving watching movies while we happily suffer the indigestion that comes from eating too much pumpkin pie. We'll be happy to have visited with relatives, and we'll discuss how grateful we were to have such an abundance of food. I sincerely hope that I raise the type of children who, instead of bringing in stray dogs and cats, unapologetically springs a surprise guest to our meal table purely for the reason that they feel compelled to share their family's bounty with someone less fortunate. I'd be one proud mama!

Christmas always sneaks up on us, even when we overzealously put up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend. It seems like I'm just getting around to throwing out all the turkey-based leftovers and BAM! It's time for the 12-day countdown. Ever contemplated just leaving it up year-round so you don't have to fool with carefully packing up all the ornaments again? I actually enjoy it's ambient glow, and I know my babies did too, judging from the way they'd stare at it until their eyelids became heavy. The last two Christmases have been very easy and inexpensive, as our son was thrilled by boxes and paper moreso than the items inside them. We know it's going to get more expensive and more difficult as they begin to covet what their friends have, and wring their little hands with childish desire when they see the toys and gadgets in the stores throughout the year. Having grown up in a family with very little money, I am quite confident that kids who don't receive every.single.thing. they want for Christmas do not suffer any long term psychological damage. In fact, they probably walk away from it with a standard of appreciation for things that extends far beyond their maturity. Therefore, my husband and I don't plan on worrying ourselves to the point of stomach ulcers when we are faced with having to purchase gifts for three teenagers someday.

We have decided to go along with the Santa Claus scam because there's just too much joy to be had for the children when it comes to imaginary characters who do good deeds for them. We believe it may even foster in their imaginations ideas of how they can bring cheer and goodwill offerings to others, since kids often mimic their heroes. We also believe that the good to be had cancels out the fact that we're BS'ing them into thinking that a fat man from the North Pole traveling with flying reindeer drops off toys to all children, worldwide. I hope that as my children age, they will put their little minds to work trying to figure out how the logistics would be worked out, the physical improbability of a fat man sliding both down and back up the chimney, and the moral conundrum of why Santa doesn't choose to do good deeds year-round by delivering food to the homeless, housing to the impoverished, and medicine to the sick people. While we may occasionally fool them into what to think, we want to encourage them to learn how to think, and encourage them to question everything. In other words, kids - if it seems too good to be true - it probably is. We definitely aspire to nurture a sense of goodwill and charity in them that will hopefully stick for the rest of their lives. This strategy will apply in our household to most of the Nativity stories that are shared among the many religious cultures pertaining to the origins of Christmas. Those stories are important too, and we want to give them adequate exposure at home before they hear it from more fanatical sources outside the home.

There's so much tradition to uphold surrounding this holiday, it leaves me optimistic in hoping that the whole gross overspending tradition that goes with it here in the West just gets lost amid all the other festivities, and our children don't grow up believing that this time of year is when Mom & Dad overspend, go into debt, and struggle for following months just so everyone can get that iPad, or iPhone, or iTouch, or whatever iGottaHaveIt gadget is popular for their time. We want it to be fun for them both as little kids who believe in the magic of Santa, and as teenagers who have figured out the gimmick for what it is. Plus, who can pass up the timeless I'm-Scared-And-Gonna-Pee-In-Santa's-Lap photo opportunities?

As we prepare for the upcoming holiday season, I raise my glass in the general direction of all parents out there who are going to try their level best to make it as enjoyable as possible for their kids. It's not going to be easy, but we're going to be up to the task, simply because we are Mommies & Daddies who can pull off most anything as long as it makes our kids happy. I propose a toast to having a few more ordinary, run-of-the-mill weeks left to enjoy the redundant normalcy in this grey September. Embrace the usual boring routines we typically gripe about from February-August before the holiday storms roll in, because they're going to be the ones we'll be yearning to get back to once the back-to-back festivities of three major holidays burns us completely out. We'll have a nice break before having to wheel and deal with the more minor ones to follow. Dealing with Valentine's cupids and the Easter Bunny will seem like small potatoes after this!

Last but not least, I propose that we all band together and vow to do away with - once and for all - that spontaneous, punctuality-be-damned Tooth Fairy that we can never set our watches by. We all know she will likely warrant a visit to our children when it's incredibly inconvenient, making us go to the ATM in the middle of the night just to keep the fire of belief burning awhile longer in our kids. Can't we just bury their baby teeth like they did in early Europe back when people were saving their coins for more honorable endeavors? It's time we let go of just one teensy-tiny myth that is inarguably the least important one of them all. Let us set fire to this particular tradition right here and now, because isn't it a little gruesome that a fairy pays good money for discarded body parts? Moreover, who would want that kind of creature entering their children's bedrooms and rifling underneath their pillows? We draw the line here, and we draw it now. Who's with me?!?!

Organizing Kid Clutter

I title this post as if it's even a feasible undertaking at this juncture. At 18 and 10 months of age, my kids aren't exactly mommy's-little-helpers, and Mommy's hands are so tied at any given point throughout the day that the long, never-ending To-Do list gets edited and divided each day into a short, trimmed-down Must-Do list. These lists usually get loosely formulated and then revised in my head during the sixty seconds before becoming fully coherent in the morning. I'll usually try to prioritize chores while making that first pot of coffee, and certain items from those lists are highlighted for immediate action status, such as the Finish-Laundry-Or-We'll-All-Be-Naked / Throw-Out-Last-Week's-Casserole-Before-Fridge-Becomes-Contaminated kind of flash bulletins. Nonetheless, the less urgent duties rarely get completed in the timely fashion that I'd prefer, and there's always certain tasks that roll over to the next day, and the next, and the next - ad infinitum. I've learned to embrace the urban advice that suggests that a messy household = happy kids, but there are just some things that can't be overlooked that take an inordinate chunk of time out of your day when you're saddled with three kids under two. Learning to prioritize in seconds flat so as to not eat away even a few precious minutes of a busy day is the real magic trick. The point is, there are enough household chores to do in a day just to keep things barely functional to have to spend time you don't have dealing with kid's toys, and kid's messes, and kid's UH-OH! genuine accidents. I'd rather be playing with my kids, or shaving my legs, or texting my husband at work if there is any free time to be had. I'm all about eking out any shards of free time.

Before kids, our home had that clean-but-lived-in vibe. Guests weren't asked to remove their shoes, socks could occasionally be found on the floor, and there were probably numerous smudges on the window panes. White glove treatment be damned, we didn't spend every minute (or even small chunks) of our spare time cleaning out vents with alcohol-swabbed Q-tips or polishing our baseboards with oil soap. My husband and I have only been married for three years, and we both carried into our merged lifestyles some hobbies and collections that may not have qualified us for an episode of Hoarders, but took up a fair amount of space in our living quarters. For the Mister, it was an insanely large quantity of video games, movies, and action figures -  an entire room of them, which was unceremoniously dismantled to make room for the twin's nursery and an extra linen closet. I must say, he took it like a champ. It seemed unfair that my wooden cat collection was easily kept intact upon one shelf in our master bedroom, so to take one for Team Richardson, I stopped collecting wooden cats altogether. I also had at least two tall, stuffed bookcases full of books that I considered to be the Holy Grail of my personal possessions. I had no reservations about throwing out the paperback horror fiction and the trash novels, but I wasn't about to part with my hardback non-fiction with the likes of Daniel Dennett, Stephen Pinker and Richard Dawkins. The third-edition Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman was quite expensive. The Kurt Vonnegut, Mark Twain and George Carlin books were keepers, too, even though they fell into the paperback category. Pretty much any dead, highly-acclaimed author had a permanent slot on my shelves, but in the spirit of fairness, I got rid of a huge lot of books. Oh, the things you do for love! And then ... the children were born. A whole new level of clutter and disorganization started to surface, and who would have time to play video games or curl up with a good book again? Not us.

 In just two short years, what seemed like a spacious 3-bedroom house (complete with a large outdoor storage that once served as a man cave) began to shrink before our very eyes. The addition of three children brought about so much extra stuff, it felt like we were just one changing table or diaper box or bouncy seat away from having to sleep in our Jeeps. We had to act fast to get it under control. It's still a work in progress, and if a visitor popped in unannounced tomorrow morning, they'd probably trip over some foam building blocks or step on a Lego. There's no longer an extra bedroom for overnight guests, and even if we were hard pressed to accommodate a family member, they'd likely find a stray hair or two hanging around the bathroom sink. We joke about the hazards an unsuspecting burglar would face while casing the inside of our home in the dark. There are child gates to hurdle at three strategic entry checkpoints, a wide array of musical-toy-booby-traps to be stepped on, and an obnoxious Bengal housecat who occasionally makes it inside from his lair in the attached garage to weave ninja-like underfoot while you're trying to walk a straight line. Suffice it to say, we slumber soundly every night, and an elaborate home security system isn't to be thanked for that. But don't get any ideas ... as parents of multiples, we're practically seasoned soldiers when it comes to sleeping with one eye open and one ear cocked.



A stay-at-home Mom has a responsibility to keep some kind of order in the household, and that loosely translates to being able to find matching socks for the entire crew, have clean dishes to eat off of in the event we run out of paper plates, and to keep the fall hazards to a minimum when you're housing a toddler, two infants, and two very ungraceful 40-somethings. I've devised a Tip Sheet based on organizational strategies that work for us, and I'm eager to share it:

TOY CONTROL

• Rotate, rotate, rotate. I can't stress this enough. Toddlers amass so many toys in their first two years of life that it's almost embarrassing. While we're happy to be able to provide our kids with an abundance of play goodies, to a third world citizen, it would surely seem gluttonous. Since their little brains haven't quite mastered the art of keeping a tight inventory on their goodies, it's easy to sneak out pieces and rotate in new ones without them ever becoming aware that they've been jacked. We try to keep one medium-sized wicker basket full of small, assorted playthings such as blocks, jumbo Legos, balls and miscellaneous crap that our son loves to scatter, stack and litter our floor with. These can easily be scooped up in one large sweep and thrown back into basket for quick clean-up. When they're not looking, throw out those unnecessary, overused items. Do they REALLY need to hang onto that plastic water bottle that makes a cool rattling sound when shaken? If the kid no longer claps at it after it performs it's function ... get rid of it.

• Larger items, such as dump trucks, ride-on toys, stick horses, that godforsaken ball-popping noisy lawnmower - only a handful allowed out at a time, the rest stowed away out of eyesight of both us and Junior. They can't whine for what they cannot see, and since an 18-month old has absolutely no real need for order, it's not as difficult to pick up and put away in a flash. For us, "putting away" usually means quickly yet neatly lining these items up near our fireplace mantle so that we can remember what shade of wood we once enjoyed as our floor space.

• Another piece of advice: Give friends and family member subtle hints when it comes to buying gifts for your child. Don't be afraid to ask for clothes, if your kids need them. Books, rather than stuffed animals. If your child is still in diapers or Pull-ups, let them know how much it would help to not have to buy those, and how you can recycle the box for fun craft projects. For my son's first birthday, he received toys that to this day he hasn't even played with yet, and probably never will get around to, and will be lost on his twin sisters, because it's icky boy stuff. If the toys can't be handed down, or returned to store, or if you think your child just has too much of a good thing - don't be afraid to donate them. If your toddler is like mine, they're more fascinated with and get more miles out of the actual boxes and tissue paper that they come in.

KID'S CLOTHING

• Get over your nostalgia. Sure, there's going to be a few monogrammed or embroidered newborn items that's always going to hold a special place in your heart. That's understandable, because us women are very sentimental creatures, and letting go of things that once made our hearts go pitter-patter is an extremely difficult and guilt-tinged undertaking. But do you really need to save their first blanche white hospital onesie with the little hand mittens attached? I can promise you that as the years go on, you will find dust rags with just as much utilitarian purpose. Keep a small (and I stress: tiny) box of newborn things that are dear to you, or that you'd like to perhaps share with their children someday, but be willing to part with the rest of it. A good rule of  thumb would be: If it can't fit inside the baby book, it goes.

• Be thrifty and exchange, consign, or become an online yard sale aficionado with the clothing your kids have gently used and grown out of. Just last month I earned over two hundred dollars peddling kid's clothing online. You'd be surprised how many pages on Facebook alone there are just for that very enterprise. Group them according to size, sell them in lots instead of piecing them out, and be sure to throw out anything damaged or stained. No one wants to dress their kids in a formula-stained onesie or a pair of footed pajamas with fabric so pilled that it's scratchy to the touch. Don't expect what you paid for it either, unless there are items new with tags or boutique clothing in excellent condition. You may even get lucky and find a cool mother or two that happens to have a child growing out of clothes in your child's size group who also has a newborn (or two, like I did!) that needs clothes for some even swaps. Out with the old to make room for the new!

• For my twins, I keep one dresser drawer full of clothes that they can grow into, separated by individual drawers for every 3-month growth/size increment. By default, girls have more clothes than boys, and WAY more accessories. Most of these items you cannot live without, because, well - they're girls, and photo-ops are fun. That said, you'll want to keep them organized, or their nurseries are going to look like a women's dressing room the day after a Macy's black Friday sale. I keep headbands and barrettes either attached to their respective matching outfits, or rolled up nicely in a see-through mesh bag. Socks are kept in a basket, as are burp cloths, fancy bibs, run-of-the-mill lunch-time-at-home bibs with green bean and prune stains that refuse to come out, and hats or other head coverings. We bought two cribs, but the girls are inseparable and I use the one they don't sleep in to keep at least two week's worth of outfits at the ready, so I don't even have to get into the dresser drawers. This eliminates folding altogether, another massive timesaver. Dressy clothes are kept hanging in the closet, as they aren't used as frequently, because really - who gets to go to formal events with three kids under two? Moreover, who would want to?

BATHTUB TOYS AND TOILETRIES

• We keep most of our after-bath items near the changing tables, like powder, lotion, aquaphor, etc. For the actual soap, bubble bath, head-rinse cup, soft washcloths and baby scrubbies, we go old-school and keep them on the back of the toilet lid for easy access, as it's an arm's reach from our tub. I suppose you could get fancy and devise some sort of cool basket or hanging apparatus, but we're usually in and out of the tub pretty quick, and I just haven't bothered. I keep a small plastic bin that I can throw all the adult shampoo/body soap/face wash, etc. to be stowed away quickly and out of the reach of a grasping 18-month old.

• I'm not going to fib and say I've done this yet, but it's absolutely one of the most clever ideas I've seen on Pinterest: affixing a shower curtain rod low in your shower and hanging wire baskets to keep the tub toys in. They are all in one place, are able to drain completely so mold or mildew won't accumulate in or around them, and it just looks tidy. MUST TRY THIS! Right now our twins are too small to play in the tub, and little enough to be bathed inside the tub on one of those mesh hammock bathers. We just pile my son's toys on top of the bather and keep it on one end of the counter. I have vowed to get crafty and do the shower curtain rod job before the year is up.

• All that excess water that gets splashed on the floor at bath time? Have a spray bottle of Pine-Sol or 409 handy and a towel dedicated to swabbing, and BAM! Your bathroom floors get cleaned every time.

I hope to add more tips and tricks of the trade as time goes on, but for now I will leave this long diatribe with a warning I wish I'd heeded: Do not, under any circumstance, get into the habit of saving your diaper boxes for anything. You'll think that you'll need them for something. You'll do an occasional craft, or pack something up, but before you know it, you will have a garage full of Huggies and Pampers boxes and it will take DAYS to break them down and dispose of them. If you're a family with multiples, they pile up really fast, and I'm here right now to tell you: It's not worth the extra clutter or the time it takes to break them down and recycle them when they are stacked eye-level in rows of twenty in your garage. I implore you - don't save the boxes. Save yourself the headache, and just break those mothers down NOW! Odds are, your To-Do list is full enough with other chores, tasks and pipe dreams of making your house more tidy and organized.