The S.U.C.K cont'd - (Sick Unruly Crying Kids, v 2.0)

Week two in the trenches, and although we haven't completely unraveled - I feel like the core of my spool is now in plain view. It became clear reviewing my last missive that one should probably draft their post and review it during more cognizant moments before being so quick to hover the mouse arrow over that orange "publish" box in the upper right hand corner. Fever, chills and lack of sleep tends to skew your grammar, slay your punctuation, and makes for extreme long-winded rambling. Proofreading be damned, it was still a pretty concise account of the rigors a parent goes through when their little darlings fall ill. Since we're on our second week and I'm feeling a tad more optimistic that we'll be back to our old selves soon, I've had time to reflect on both some of the highlights and low points of our first major family-wide illness.

The determination a mother feels when attempting to alleviate their child's suffering knows absolutely no bounds. The helplessness she feels when she is unable to make 100% of the *achies* go away is closely akin to a punch in the gut. You'd literally be willing to siphon the sickness out of them and into your own body if that were an option. You'd cut deals with the devil. Sell your own mother. Anything to restore them to perfect health. At least that's how I feel, and this is regardless of the fact that it isn't something fatal they are afflicted with, like botulism or leprosy - it's the common cold, albeit an especially nasty strain. A bit over-the-top and dramatic? Maybe. During their teenage years when I've got a few hundred illnesses under my belt, I probably won't react as though the world has halted to an end when the kids get sick.

So now that we've established that most new mothers with very young children have a form of paranoia and neurosis that is virtually incurable - we can leave the apologies behind and continue on with the dreadful account of how this virus has affected us. I'm also going to offer some tips for other new, inexperienced mothers on how to 1) hold themselves together, and 2) stockpile their medicine chests with effective medicine, instruments and assorted soothies for their precious little darlings. It's also important to keep in perspective that when they're sick, you just love them more and affectionately promote them to *precious little darlings* while developing a certain parental amnesia that makes you forget all the times they have flung poo at you, or broke your favorite pair of glasses on purpose, or refused that can of ravioli you were forced to open when they turned their picky little noses up at the elaborate REAL dinner you were just certain they'd eat. I believe it is very important that we never, ever clue our kids in to the fact that all is immediately, irrecusably forgiven in the event that they're sick - else I can assure you that they will learn to hone their acting skills so that we can be convinced that they are.

Like I mentioned in my last post, we're never quick to administer medicine unless absolutely called for, but our pediatric medicine cabinet is stocked with the following Rx's and tools:

• (3) Thermometers - one digital for the ear, one digital for under the arm, and then the digital rectal thermometer that we differentiate by wrapping a few colored rubber bands around the case.
• A jar of Baby Vicks rub for their chests. I've heard people who also put them on the soles of their baby's feet, but my twin girls can bust out of a pair of footed pajamas like it's nobody's business when they're determined to play with their own (or each other's) toes.
• Children's Tylenol and Children's Motrin, with marked dispenser syringes. We like the clear ones, because those little mL lines are just impossible to read if the plunger and the color of the medicine is similar.
• Simethicone drops for gas.
• Little Tummies Gripe Water for stomach upset.
• More than one bulb-type nasal aspirator. You're going to want to have a spare when the booger-crusted one you've used recently is drying after a good cleaning. Get new ones as often as possible, because there's a chance mold can grow inside and it's impossible to tell since it's impossible to see inside that tiny little opening.
• A jar of Aquaphor -we've used this miracle ointment for so many things, most notably: redness and irritation around deep creases (our girls are little butterballs), to dab under their raw little noses after constant nasal drip, dry skin, and to help ward off slobber rashes by applying a protective film on their chinny-chin-chins.
• A good cool-mist humidifier - remember to keep the filter clean.
• Glycerine suppositories. Cut length-wise, not in half - and be prepared to catch those slippery little suckers when you realize that your kid has very powerful sphincter muscles and it shoots back out towards your general direction.
• Baby nail clippers 

I would love for comments and suggestions on what else I'm missing out on. The more homeopathic, the better. But please note that I don't have the time, inclination or know-how to go all out and grow my own eucalyptus, brew my own gas remedies, or make salves and homemade ointments out of herbs I grow in my own garden. With 10-mo old twins and an 18-mo old, I just can't be bothered to get in touch with my inner hippie, although I'm sure she's buried in there somewhere. Perhaps for my grandchildren, when I can enjoy something resembling leisure time again. Right now the concept seems like a very far-fetched fantasy.

Last but definitely not least, it really helps to have a parenting partner who is calm, cool and collected in times of crisis. My hat is off to single mothers, because I truly believe I'd lack the conviction to keep my marbles intact if I had to survive a multi-child illness on my own. On the days Dad was at the office, I learned a few coping mechanisms on my own:

• Don't get freaked out by the amount of mucous that comes out of their noses. As long as they aren't gasping for air, or it's yellow or greenish colored (signals infection) - babies make a LOT of snot. They can't blow it out themselves, so it just kind of pools in their noses until you either remove it for them, or they sneeze on your shirt.
• Take their actual temperatures before deciding that they feel "warm" to the touch. Odds are, you've given them extra layers of clothing and extra chest cuddling when they're sick, and coupled with a few crying bouts, they're bound to have hot skin. Fevers really frightened me until a very wise sage on BabyCenter.com managed to convince me that fevers are actually very useful in helping their tiny bodies ward off illnesses.
• Pay close attention to their disposition and let that be a good indicator of how they're feeling. Cold symptoms seem harsh, but if they've still got the energy to laugh and play, odds are they aren't feeling quite as terrible as you fear.
• Be willing to deviate from your daily schedule and routine. Just like us, they tend to lose their appetites when they're sick, they might want to take longer naps (or no naps at all), and if you feel that a warm bath in the middle of the day will make them comfortable - don't be afraid to go off the appointed grid and change things up to accommodate their needs.
• While I'm a firm believer of being extra touchy-feely with my kids even on a good day, try to resist the urge to hold them next to you 24/7 while they're ill. I'm totally convinced that the stress and anxiety we feel resonates with them on some level, and sometimes too much extra coddling can be more suffocating than soothing.

Being a first-time mom, I've had to wing it these last couple of weeks, but I'm sure time, retrospect and more experience dealing with sick kids will prompt me to update this list. Hopefully a few suggestions from readers will help me expand on this too, as I'm always open to suggestions and advice. Please keep the admonishments to a minimum, though - I've been pretty upfront about my lack of experience, and hope that my ability to poke fun at my many shortcomings lends an idea to  how honestly I'm willing to admit when I've made mistakes.

As an update -

Samantha is nearly completely on the mend, and all the sticky snot has turned to crusty boogers. Sophia is still pretty snotty and has to be salined and aspirated a few times a day. Adler, KID TROOPER - well, let's just say that he proverbially stuck his middle finger up at his cold and decided he was well enough to play outside TWICE today. The little guy just can't be slowed down! And I'm pretty sure he's getting tired of being cooped up indoors with his twin sisters, who attempt to steal his thunder at any given turn. I believe the sunshine did him good. Dad caught it last, and he went to see the doctor for an inhaler, as he's asthmatic and can't risk a bad chest cold. As for me, I still feel like the left side of East Hell, but I've noticed that each passing day I feel a little better. I'm positive that once my babies are completely healed, I'll be back to 100%. I'm glad that as mothers, our "nerves" are regenerative by nature. What remnants I have that haven't been tested this week are quite frayed, but I'm confident that next time a virus turns my household into a S.U.C.K fortress, I'll be better equipped to cope with it.

When Viruses Strike: Welcome to the S.U.C.K. (Sick Unruly Crying Kids)

It's been a very trying week in the Richardson household, and I'll forever refer to it as my first full-blown crisis situation as a Mom of Multiples. Although it's not quite over, I'm feeling pretty certain at this juncture that all five of us will come out of it relatively unscathed, save for a few raw noses and what is sure to be a lifelong fear of saline for the children.

Samantha got it first, but we're all trying to be diplomats here and not hold it against her for infecting the rest of us. We've been looking to blame someone outside of our immediate circle, but the fact is - we don't get out much. This particular virus must have just slithered it's way into our home like a thief in the night, attempting to put us all down in one fell swoop. That's my second best guess -  the first being the slim possibility that the girls picked it up while sneaking out at night to steal hubcaps. If you have a better explanation for how their socks get so black and dirty while they're (supposedly) sleeping in their crib at night, feel free to enlighten me.

We'd previously had some experience dealing with sick kids while staving off our own illness circa Thanksgiving, 2012. Adler was at the tender young age of a little over 11-months old, and the girls had been home less than a month from their 17-day NICU stay. All five of us came down with head colds over the holiday, and the worst part of it was that the meal we so painstakingly shopped for, prepared, and was determined to get on the table on time lost some of it's flavor due to our taste buds being all outta whack. I recall it only lasting a couple of days, and maybe it was the festivities of the holidays or the fact that we were still in sleep deprivation mode from the newborn phase with the twins, but I just don't remember it being as grisly and horrible as the current epidemic we're battling.

You can always tell when your kid is feeling under the weather, even if they're too small to vocalize it. Their eyes go lackluster, their usual sunshine-y personalities don't shine through, and they fail to laugh or even crack a smile at your silly faces, gestures, and falsetto singing. Samantha's plight started when all of  the above symptoms surfaced, and soon after her little eyes got really red and puffy. Next thing you know, she's sneezing like crazy and her nose started leaking an incredible amount of fluid. Honestly, it's unfathomable how much liquid could accumulate in that chubby little head of hers. It was like a damned sieve had been turned on! I first attributed her general crabbiness to the fact that she's cutting her top teeth, but Google said that most teething symptoms are actually not teething symptoms, and since everything you read on the internet pertaining to babies must be tried and true ... Seriously, we knew something was up besides Bugs getting her incisors, despite the fact that those suckers are going to be HUGE!

It was just logical that Sophia would be the next to get it. I started segregating them as soon as Samantha exhibited symptoms, but those two surpass the twin cliché of two peas in a pod. They sleep together, eat together, constantly touch one another, and have been recently spotted taking turns doing soggy, spit-enhanced "motorboats" to one another for fun in their play yard. But alas, this virus had a different direction in mind for it's #2 culprit, because I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling as though I'd been eaten by a billy goat and then shat off the side of a cliff, for lack of a better descriptive. My throat felt like I'd swallowed glass shards, I had Faucet Face just like poor little Sammi, and my head felt as though I had a vise-grip on each temple. This was the beginning of a sweeping, infectious, household pandemic. Eeeek!

Sure enough, Adler got it next. You know how men are big crybabies when they're sick? My little man completely refused to wear that particular insignia of shame. He was stoic at first, determined to not let his leaky nostrils disrupt his day of extreme play, and carried on with his usual shenanigans while he smirked at the virus living within him. Sophia got it next, and let me remind you - we are only going on Wednesday here, a mere two days since the virus reared it's ugly head. This was a fast-moving, highly contagious bug that we were dealing with. However, it really didn't get balls-to-the-wall ugly in here until Sophia got infected.

Sophia is very unlike her sister in some respects. They may look alike, but their personalities couldn't be more different. We lovingly and jokingly refer to Samantha as the Jeff Spicolli of babies (reference: Fast Times at Ridgemont High, 1982), as she is extremely laid-back, has an unwavering sense of humor, and sometimes laughs inappropriately, kind of like a pothead would. Nothing rattles her. Sophia, on the other hand ... whole other story. Drama queen, to the hilt. Fussybutt to the nth degree. Has an aura of royalty about her, and seems to assume that her demanding personality beseeches the rest of us to wait on her, hand and foot. She was going to make damn sure that the entire neighborhood felt her pain.

That made four of us to fall victim to the sickness. It was a thousand wonders Poppa (my father/kid's grandfather's moniker) didn't catch it, because he's here every day with us and is constantly in the kid's faces getting kisses, hugs, motorboats, ear munches, nose-grabbing, the whole nine yards. Since he's kind of getting to be long in the tooth and suffers a long list of ailments already, I advised him at this point to get out while the getting was good. He reluctantly acquiesced, but it was only after the fight, and he snuck back over here once wearing a painter's mask to prove that he was being cautious. Retired old people are reckless like that.

Armed with bulb syringes, saline, menthol baby rub, a cool-mist humidifier and warm washcloths, I was determined to ease mine and the kid's symptoms. Unfortunately, I was a shade late. The kids were miserable, Mom was miserable, and the NICEST weather Arkansas has to offer in August (75°!!) was happening outside, while we were all confined to our sickbeds. You can only imagine how bad it sucked to be Dad. He hadn't yet caught it, but living with the four of us must have made his otherwise stressful day at the office seem like a cakewalk.

I try not to be one of those parents who rush my kids to their pediatrician's office at the first sign of the sniffles, though I see to it that they're present to every scheduled wellness checkup. Outside of giving birth or having mandatory surgeries to remove certain organs that are problematic, I don't go to the doctor as a general rule. It's always been my humble opinion that doctors sometimes inadvertently make you sicker, antibiotics are over-prescribed, and even OTC medicine should be taken or administered on an emergency, as-needed basis ... if ever. But I'm here to bear witness that after putting thermometers up so many butts, and wiping so many noses, and holding crying babies who can't fall asleep on their own due to the amount of snot in their heads - I damn near buckled and begged for an antidote of some sort, knowing full well there is no cure for the common cold. At one point I just fantasized about Dr. BabyFeelGood making a house call and magically making everyone better while I curled up under the covers with a prescribed sleep aid. Don't judge, because we all have our weak moments.

Night three was what spawned the acronym in this post title. No one could sleep. Stuffiness and congestion prevailed. The best we could do was lay there and rest until it was time to soothe and comfort whoever woke up next. At some point, I'm pretty sure we were all crying out loud in unison. I don't think it would have been so unbearable if it wasn't the entire household feeling bad, save for Dad. He seemingly got off scot-free. But you know what we did? We suffered right alongside one another, and we've just about got this thing beat. Today was a little better than the days before as far as the kids are concerned. I observed them getting back into their regular routines of full-blown silliness and fun. They seemed to enjoy their food more. I still have to doctor up their little noses, and they've grown exceedingly wary of that blue bulb coming towards their faces. To say that they hate having snot suctioned out of their irrigated nostrils would be the understatement of the year. Thanks to Sean, their brotha-from-anotha-motha, for bringing over the saline and new snot syringes. Big perk of having a licensed respiratory therapist in the immediate family! Must bake him something soon, as I've heard through the grapevine (re: the daughter-in-law I text daily) that he was feeling sick, too. Sure hope he didn't catch it from us!

As for myself, I feel like I'm getting closer to being on the mend. I'm a closet (more like back-behind-the-garage) smoker, so most of my colds have long legs on them. I know, I know - we reap what we sow, and all that jazz. I'm working on quitting. Someday soon. Really! Unfortunately, dear old Dad started feeling the first signs of it this afternoon after laboring so hard for us all. It was inevitable, I tell myself. Do not milk this into roping him into going grocery shopping again, I tell myself. Hopefully the strain has died down some and lost it's voracity, so maybe Dad's version of the sickness will be milder than what we had. Not sure it works that way, being as how I pulled that right out of my arse in the spirit of being positive and hopeful, but I am definitely hoping that he doesn't feel as miserable as we all did.

It can be said that families either break apart or pull together in times of crisis. I'd like to boast that our little quintet managed to pull together and made the best of a bad situation, save for a few arguments on how-to's, why-for's and the such. But in our defense, we're very passionate people. We love hard, we fight hard. We are going to kick this virus in it's ass and both our antibodies AND our characters will be all be stronger as a result of it!

In Your Face, you no-good, rotten virus. Come back see us again .... NEVERRR!