Educating Them For Real Life: What Do They Need To Succeed?

So we've decided to educate our children ourselves. At home. Without formal tutoring (except for pursuing interests such as music, gymnastics, martial arts, foreign languages, etc.). We're still deciding on whether to adhere to and purchase a ready-made curriculum, or conceptualize and design our own, or use a combination of both. After pouring through reading materials, researching available products and studying education theory by those who have been there and done that, there is a broad idea already forming of how we're going to go about it. Like most projects in the early planning stages, I've only just begun to collect and sort through the myriad of information out there. The end goal here is to identify (and agree upon) our teaching/learning philosophy, choose which method (or methods) we're going to incorporate into our lesson plans (if we go that route), and which materials we'll need to aid and assist us along our journey.

During our talks, my husband and I have found ourselves often referring back to our own formal educations, discussing what we liked, what we hated, what we learned, what we didn't - and comparatively have sorted through what we think we'd like to change about how our children are taught.

One recurring theme of our talks have revolved around how little formal schooling prepares you for real-life situations. It taught us little to nothing about establishing credit, budgeting a household, caring for living things such as plants or pets, how to prepare meals, how to survive if stranded or lost, how to climb out of debt from racking up student loans.... And then we think about the things we learned (often by trial, error and humiliation) from our peers, such as independently forming opinions, how to socialize, how to treat other human beings, modesty, humility, the value of making other people laugh  ... the list goes on and on. There seemed to be a pretty stark line drawn between what we learned (or was supposed to learn) at school and what we learned (or was supposed to learn) at home. There were wide gaps in both, and sometimes what was best taught at home was picked up at school by mimicking our classmate's behaviors, and what was best learned at school was independently self-taught, often by necessity, on an as-needed, emergency basis when we were young adults.

While we obviously coasted through to adulthood relatively unscathed, reminiscing on these trials, tribulations and errors helped give us a broader perspective of how we wanted to teach our kids. The term "well-rounded" is so vague and open to interpretation, but we were pretty sure that we wanted our kids to be more informed, more acutely prepared for real life, and more eager to learn via natural curiosity and practical application versus obedient memorization and regurgitation of (mostly useless) facts. A lot of the real-life skills we learned as adults (accounting, carpentry, etc.) was picked up as a hands-on, ongoing training and vocation through jobs we had as young adults.

My husband and I started making babies at a very late age (40 and 45, respectively). It was beyond obvious that what we learned back then would hardly be practical for our kid's generation. We didn't have the internet, with virtually every piece of information available at the click of a mouse. We didn't have the luxury of speaking with people from foreign cultures. We didn't have the technology to have a map, a set of encyclopedias, a telephone, a camera, a video recorder, fingertip shopping, game-playing, social-driven "apps" (the term wasn't even invented yet) on one device that could be tucked into our pocket. Our kids are lucky to be alive at a time when so much technology is readily available. We're going to have to chart the course of their learning based on these conveniences, and take into account that there are certain learned "skills" that are still being formally taught in classrooms that are both seriously outdated, and a waste of time. A couple of examples:

• Cursive writing. Do we really want to spend a huge block of our "school" year on this? Writing print and learning to navigate a keyboard at a young age would suffice, in our opinion. While writing formal written letters may be a lost art, I believe this art could be done on an elective basis, if my children are interested in learning.
  
• Long division (with or without decimals), memorizing the multiplication tables, algebra, calculus: Is this really necessary in a world where calculators are practically built into every piece of electronics we own? Being able to work out two sets of six-digit numbers multiplied can be done using technology. Same applies to division. Anything beyond the basic elementary mathematical schooling isn't going to be important until the later high school years when they've started getting their own ideas about where their career choices will lead them. This is not to say that the basic fundamentals of math shouldn't be rigorously taught and applied on an elementary level -  I just don't think it should be pounded systematically into their heads until either practical application or their own natural curiosity dictates that they need to learn it.
  

Of course I will prepare them academically if they plan to apply to a college. But I view their high school years as a time when they will have started to develop a good idea of what path they want to take, and we'll need to adjust their studies accordingly. My hope is that by the time they have reached the typical high school age, they will already have much practice at independently learning and researching on their own and they'll be telling ME how THEY are going to design their curriculum. I hope to have cultivated by then enough self-discipline, independence and dogged determination in my kids to be very, very comfortable with the choices they make for themselves. I hope to trust them explicitly with the responsibility of paving their own way long before they reach adulthood. And I hope that they trust me enough to confide in me their choices, even if they decide to pursue something that may seem risky, over-ambitious, or just plain lackadaisical. 

Suppose one of my daughters decides to enroll in a top-tier University and rack up $240k in student loans to make a modest $50k a year teaching Philosophy. Do I encourage her to follow her passion even though she will be saddled in debt for most of her young adult life? What if my son decides, despite having a natural penchant for mathematics and engineering to take his love of his garage band guitar-playing abilities on a cross-country bar tour with the hope of getting signed as a *serious* musician? Do I dash his dreams and point out the odds of him ever making it big as a musician? What if my other twin daughter decides to take the money she's saved up working as a teenager and invest it, along with borrowed dollars, into her own start-up company that has a 50/50 chance of succeeding or failing? To encourage her would send the message: I Believe In You. To discourage it would communicate to her that I don't think she has the moxie to pull it off.

While I'm definitely projecting too far ahead with absurd scenarios that may or may not happen, it seems like it's never too early to start considering how their elementary and primary education, coupled with their love-of-learning and passion for following their dreams will affect the way they form the strategic and complicated task of planning for their own futures. I believe it's a fine line between saddling them with our own expectations and letting them freely discover what will best suit them as far as career choices go. 

While I think about these things, in the back of my mind I'm planning for more immediate, present-day goals and ventures, such as potty-training them and teaching them to wipe their own butts and wash their own hands. Truth be told, I'm not sure which is more terrifying!

Raising Freethinkers: The Education Conundrum

One of the things troubling me as a parent of 3 children who are just a few short years shy of becoming school-aged is how to begin preparing their little minds for the pliability it requires to soak up knowledge. I think a huge part of it is massaging their already established curiosities, taking every opportunity to satisfy the whats, hows & whys that will soon be brewing at their intellectual surface. I'm certain of a few things already:

• I must give them consistent, varied, and unique opportunities to establish their interests. I want them to have a broad range of stimuli available to them so they can explore whatever piques their curiosities. While we'll be limited in some ways (geographically and financially speaking), it will be important to introduce new things, new places, and new people to them. Kids may thrive on routine, but variety will give them the chance to think outside of their little boxes and appreciate things that are unfamiliar. The hope is that this will foster a love of learning and becoming explorers by their own rite.
• I must give them space to grow. I want to raise them to be independent, rebellious, intellectual thinkers. I want them to question authority - even if it's my own. I don't want them to be systematically programmed to just mindlessly follow the rules and float through life on auto-pilot. I want them to cultivate their own self-discipline and have the guts and audacity to initiate change when they feel it's needed. I'd like them to be innovative, unique and constantly questioning their predicaments, looking for ways to improve themselves and their world.
• I want them to be unafraid and accepting towards those who are different than them. I don't want to raise them in a bubble, surrounded only by Mommy & Daddy's kind. I want them to be steeped in diversity, interested in other cultures, and eager to discover new ways of life alien to their own. I want them to be tolerant of practices they don't necessarily partake in, and I want them to establish early on a sense of compassion, empathy and altruism that will extend not only to their immediate peers, but to the rest of the whole, wide world outside of their zip code. I want them to dream of faraway lands and it's residents. I want them to aspire to travel and see the world when they're grown.

These things I know for certain, and while it gives us a good foundation as to how we hope our kids will turn out, it does nothing at all to help me establish how I want them to be formally educated, or if we want them to be formally educated at all! The current conundrum we're facing now is which direction to go as far as how our kids are taught. We've got a good idea of how we'd like them to operate as Good People, but then there's the ABC's, 123's, History, Science, Geography, Algebra ... 

The hard questions here are: 

• How much do they need to know to be prepared for life? Will they aspire to become academically at the top of their chosen field and pursue college accreditation? Or will they hone in on the arts, or a skilled trade? Perhaps their vision will lead them to want to join the Peace Corps, travel to remote corners of the globe and help others. Maybe the (gulp) traditional 8-5 corporate lifestyle will be their preference. However it turns out, we want to make sure even their early childhood education gives them the proper tools and mindset to be able to both discover and pursue their goals. The onus is on us, the parents, to make sure they're given everything they need to succeed.
• Which learning style will suit them best? We've learned an incredible amount about their personalities that have recently formed to know that our boy is a hands-on kinda guy who gets bored sitting still for too long. Will this change as he gets older? Our twin daughters may look alike, but their personalities are as different as night and day. One is introverted, one is extroverted. Do I lean towards these innate traits of theirs and model their education around it, or do I challenge them to go outside of their comfort zone? The fact is, they're going to change as they get older. We need to be prepared to grow with them and be willing to change with them. I'm pretty sure the public school system isn't going to conform to our kid's changing needs or redirect their curriculum to what suits their current interests. They're going to teach them to be autonomous, obedient, and structured to the point of monotony. And we're 100% positive that is not what we want for them. 

All that established, we've made our minds up that home schooling will best fit our family. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who both shares my vision and is willing to work hard to provide for our family while I stay home and see to it that our children are well taken care of, beyond their basic needs, and flourish as they grow up. I support public schools, as they provide an education, and meals, and the attention that some kids probably do not have the good fortune of getting at home. It's just not for us.

I've been reading and researching and soaking in every bit of information available on the internet as to which method of homeschooling will suit us. In the posts that follow, I'll be hammering out the pros and cons of each.

Everyone admonishes me for wishing the years away too fast and suggest that I cherish this time while my kids are babies and toddlers. I think it's easier said than done. I look forward to my kids relishing in more concrete activities and interests! As I type this, my two year-old son is celebrating the ability to take off all his clothing and strip down naked as he triumphantly tosses his diaper over the child gate while my twin daughters are practicing the highest decibels of their war cries as they take turns yanking at each other's hair. Sigh. 

Revise, Revise, Revise

After my particularly long absence at the blog seat, I spent time reviewing our two years as parents via my past posts, and learned how rapid changes in perspective is the norm for people raising kids. I embraced the fact and felt decidedly happier knowing that it's okay for me to look back on certain events and realize that I could have handled things better. It's not worth beating one's self up over it, as it was a learning experience and there will be hundreds, thousands - millions more of those presenting themselves as our kids grow up.

That's not to say that most of my time has been spent stressing over our parenting tactics and capabilities, and although I'd be fibbing if I said it didn't keep me up most nights, I am positive that this form of stress is constructive, and helps us become both better parents and human beings. We've been focusing a lot lately over how quickly our kids are growing up. It's mostly me, feeling teary-eyed and nostalgic, while the husband gently and lovingly humors my sentimental booby-ness, consoling me. The infant stage is behind us, and it left a long trail of happy memories that we'll cherish forever. We're currently in the throes of  the toddler phase, and if it doesn't drive us both clinically insane one child at a time, I'm sure we'll reap many pleasant memories from this period in our lives as well. Our goal is to keep up this patterned tradition of happy kids > happy parents > happy memories.

I realize these are the important formative years and that we only get one shot at making sure our kids grow up feeling loved, happy & secure. These are the years when attachment parenting is supposed to help develop a strong bond between us all. I'm thinking we have about 2-3 more years of this before they turn into sassy little independent kindergartners ready to soak up all the knowledge the world has to offer them. This is where my current pre-planning meltdown has begun. The first person who suggests that I'm overthinking it (which I am usually guilty of) will be ignored, because literally speaking - who can put too much thought into their children's education?

It started off considering our local school district, which leaves much to be desired. I researched elementary schools outside of our small radius and decided on a STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Mathematics) facility that I felt had more to offer than a traditional magnet school. I began considering my kid's interests and innate curiosity and realized that they were really too young still to be able to recognize these things in them. They're still into pooping their diapers and climbing on couch cushions and participating in Peek-A-Boo olympics. But I know it's right around the corner, and I want to have a handful of options and pre-decisions at the ready for when we have to get serious about school placement.

Like most mothers, my mind started inadvertently creating scenarios that would fall into the "worst case" spectrum: School shootings. Bullying. Recreational drug use. Sex. Bad teachers. Visions of just handing over my kids, still swaddled and vulnerable, over to the wolves...! Suddenly, a public school education seemed to drop a few slots on our range of choices. I mentally revisited my own public education and decided that sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, a half-assed curriculum taught by apathetic, uninteresting, underpaid teachers and the highly overrated "socialization" factor that people seem to deem so important did absolute nothing as far as preparing me for life as an adult in the real world. Unless of course you count working an 8-5 administrative job as a corporate robot while being totally disenfranchised with anything  that I was truly passionate about as progress. I don't. So we considered other possibilities.

We've managed to make it and keep our heads above water on one income while raising kids who aren't school-aged. Could I possibly re-enter the workforce, use the second income to fund a private school tuition? We discussed this. Most private schools are expensive, but unfortunately cater to children with a curriculum based around religion, which doesn't resonate well with us. While we'd prefer a secular environment while we teach our kids HOW to think and not WHAT to think, the options just aren't out there for private schools in our area. I'm pretty steadfast in the decision to not indoctrinate our kids with religion until they're old enough to both explore and discern which worldview, be it secular or dogmatic, would best fit within the framework of their life choices.

We started considering home schooling, and at this point, it is the major contender in how we're going to educate our kids. While it was in the discussion phase, neither my husband or I had much experience or information about it to be able to make a solid decision. And so the research begins...

More to follow, as I journal through the surprising research and findings along this new journey.

Backtracking and Bouncing Forward

After a long hiatus, I had originally planned to pick up my blogging pace by catching up on the fun and festivities we enjoyed over the holiday season. I managed to finish a long overdue draft I'd started on Planning and (Almost) Executing the Perfect Twin 1st Birthday, but after that, I found myself revising and revisiting the same old drafts I'd started without having anything resembling a good flow. Seems like the long break dried up my creative juice reserves, and I was seriously lacking the enthusiasm to retell our adventures with the same passion and eagerness that I had before.

I took that *in a rut* moment to indulge in a little self-reflection while I reviewed old blog posts. Mostly because I'm nostalgic, partially because I was seeking motivation to continue writing, but also because I realize that our life here changes drastically in intervals of just a few months, and it's interesting to look back and see how much we've grown, both parents and children alike. What surprised me most was noticing how what seemed like a lifetime ago happened in just under a 2-year time span.

I relived my pregnancy woes and delivery mishaps in How To Completely Foil Your Birth Plan.  It reminded me of how lucky my husband and I are that we didn't have to experience the worst-case-scenarios some parents are faced with in the delivery room. It made me take pause and look down at the sleeping two-year old curled up beside me with his foot propped up on the corner of my laptop and - BAM! Supernovas exploded in my chest, an atomic collision of the exquisite love, attachment and unyielding devotion we have for our children. It truly is so powerful, it makes you suck your breath in and put your hand to your chest, all Fred Sanford-style. Best. High. EVER.

I revisited our first bouts with sick infants in When Viruses Strike: Welcome to the S.U.C.K. (Sick Unruly Crying Kids), where I used adjectives such as "grisly," and descriptives like "full-blown crisis situation". HA! Three sick kids can rock your boat, for sure - but my *newbness* rendered me as dramatic as a teenage girl when it came to recanting it. Several snot-nosed, congested chests later and I barely flinch when they take on a cold. I am now Master of the Saline Bulb and rectal temperature readings no longer make me grimace. Since then we had a major toddler accident that involved a split lip, enough blood to soak a super tampon, and a scar that is still slightly visible on my son's precious face. Did I cry? Of course. A mother can't help but feel anguish at the sight of her child in pain.  But it didn't throw me into full-fledged alarmist mode where I ripped out or cushioned every sharp right angle in our home. I've learned that crisis hurdles like that are best dealt with swiftly, patched up accordingly, and then you move on with the quickness so that you don't turn into the Smother Mother who constantly coddles and overprotects her children. Germs and viruses are a part of life. Accidents are going to happen. That said, the influenza strain this season has left 41 50 people in my state dead - so I've avoided taking the kids to shopping malls or grocery stores until this mild epidemic passes. There is indeed a fine line between exercising caution and becoming totally agoraphobic during flu season. I like to think we have erred on the smart, cautious side.

It's been six months since I wrote Co-Sleeping, A Year in Review:, and my stance hasn't changed, even though the size of my son's feet and the downright hog-like behavior he partakes in when sleeping horizontally between my husband and I has changed dramatically. We still talk about transitioning him to his toddler bed, but it's mostly just a bunch of hot air we blow off when we wake up in the morning with bruised ribs, having been robbed of both our pillows and our covers. We feel like we'll know when the time is right when it's convenient for him, not for us. A year and a half of co-sleeping, despite the myths, hasn't 1) ruined our sex life, 2) made our son any less independent, or 3) posed any sort of psychological issues with any of us. I know for a fact that I'm going to miss him when he decides on his own that he wants to sleep in his own bed - with a little cajoling from me and dad, of course. We definitely don't want a five or six year-old between us, and pretty soon our twin daughters are going to insist that our oversized King bed looks more comfy and inviting than the confines of their cribs. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I blogged about organizing kid clutter, when I had no idea how much worse it would get after getting a couple of Christmas's and birthdays behind us. We still take every opportunity to be silly, mostly because we're dorks, partially because it helps keep us sane. I still have moments of self-loathing when I look down and see that my abdomen is quartered into horizontal rolls, as opposed to quadrants of flat muscle.

But I must say, out of all the topics I'd covered on our experiences as parents, the Litmus Test of Parenting and Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This had to be the two biggest instances I opined about that today's perspective completely squashes. They don't grow out of driving you crazy. You just grow used to that brand of crazy and it no longer phases you to be in that state.

Revisiting the words of your past (and not so recent past!) can give you a fresh perspective on the days to come. For me, it makes me feel wiser, more seasoned, and affords me the opportunity to take jabs at myself for the Epic Parenting Fails I now consider to be innocent rookie mistakes.

We're excited about the year ahead of us, as we've got huge plans ahead of us which involves (another) massive remodel of our home, a crash course in early education methods, and plenty of time to stress about the two until we get to that point.

Till then ... enjoy our Halloween and Christmas photos (that are so overdue and outdated due to gross neglect of blog posting that it's no longer relevant, but rather a shameless plug on how freakin' adorable our youngsters are)

BEST.COSTUME.EVER.

THIS Princess wasn't impressed with the Halloween Carnival. At all. She grouched the whole time.

Is he excited, or infuriated? We don't know, either.

This is going to be a great Throwback Thursday photo to haunt their (insert future media site) with.

It was 90 degrees at the carnival. Can you imagine how that suit must have felt?

The weight of the bow on her head finally collapsed her.

He is smiling, but his limbs are expertly fighting us off as we try to make him wear a Santa hat for a photo. 

This is her "I left your Christmas present in my diaper" face.

Planning and (Almost) Executing the Perfect Twin 1st Birthday

Most parents are eager to go to extremes to make their children's birthdays fun and memorable. Even when the kids are under five, a time when most of the extravagance is lost on their young minds and tissue paper and boxes are the true hit for them, we find ourselves going overboard with the birthday festivities. Is it for the photo op, something you can share with them when they're older so they can look back and think fondly of how much thought and effort their folks put into making their parties fun? That kind of appreciative retrospect doesn't hit until they're in their late twenties, if even then. I've concluded that we do it as much for ourselves as for our kids, and that planning and executing the perfect party is, for us, waxing nostalgic on birthdays we wished we'd had - or at least improving upon them. One-upping our own parents, if you will. And boy, did we ever!

When you're operating as a stay-at-home mom in a family of five on one income, your purse strings are cinched and your budget is very thin. I felt inspired on what I wanted to do for my twin daughters first birthday, but clueless on where to begin. Pinterest had some good ideas for DIY party planning, and Etsy had some great deals on props and outfits. I've never been the crafty sort, but this time I schooled myself hard on some of this DIY stuff, and enlisted the help of my best friend who is the Crafting Mogul Extraordinaire. Together, we pulled off a pretty awesome Twin Girl 1st Birthday, even though the circumstances ultimately ended up working against us.

Our theme was Fairy Princess, and in a perfect world where dad's wallet was a bottomless money pit, I would have opted for the freshest, most beautiful floral arrangements money could buy. I wanted there to be pretty flowers strewn about as far as they eye could see, and even silk flowers are expensive, so we opted to make coffee filter paper flowers. I'd love to credit the exact tutorial I found to do these, but I ended up using several different methods from several different tutorials and the truth of it is - I never bookmarked them. So I'll attempt to recreate the tutorial from memory as best as I can.

I used several packs of both small and large coffee filters, which you can snag at a Dollar Tree store, which I did - but I also had awesome friends who just happened to become ex-coffee-drinkers and just happened to have filters stockpiled. For the dye, I used several (extremely old) packets of Kool-Aid that I found stowed away in our pantry. Scotch tape and staples were the only other extra expense. Like I said, I wanted TONS of flowers, so I knew this was going to be a long, drawn-out undertaking. I needed to do these in bulk, and in my spare time, which is sparse at best.

I dyed the filters in the sink, because it can get pretty messy. The first night I failed to wear gloves so my fingernails and cuticles were several different ugly shades for a day or two. Doh! I'd add the kool-aid to a bowl and mix with water, submerse the filters until they reached the desired color, and then wring them out until they were only barely damp. Coffee filters are RESILIENT! The good part about using kool-aid instead of dye is that they smelled like strawberry, grape, blueberry and lemon-lime:

Then it was time to lay them out to dry. They were literally strewn everywhere until I finally figured out that sticking the damp colored filters in the clothes dryer would shave off many hours of wait time. This wasn't included in the original tutorial, but this improvisation gave an awesome effect by making the filters crinkle up and become less stiff and more pliable. 

The most labor intensive part of the whole ordeal was flattening out a HUGE mound of coffee filters so they could be sorted and pressed. It doesn't look like it, but there's at least 900 coffee filters here:

The sorting of colors, then the pressing them in a stack of books to rid of dryer wrinkles. Others may iron them out, but seriously - who has time for that? The pressing left just enough fine creases to make the flowers look real.

The folding was a bit cumbersome and I'll admit that the first twenty or so looked kind of pitiful until I got the technique down pat, but this craft was well worth the time and effort! After the filters dried, six were stacked evenly, folded in half, then in half again. The edges were scalloped with scissors while all folded up. They were unfolded, and dented in the center until I had a "grabbable" stem to hold onto. I scotch-taped the stems to make them more stiff. Then I just scrunched up each layer of filter until the flower shape was achieved. 

I had TONS of colored shreds of filters leftover, and frugality can sometimes lead to invention. I decided to save the shreds and was glad that I did! I ended up using them inside the clear vases I used for the DIY cupcake tier. It matched the flowers perfectly since they were literally cut from the same stock. If you make coffee filter flowers - save those shreds! I thought of a thousand other uses for them.

 We had pink, purple, white, tie-dyed colors and a few light blue flowers strewn everywhere! After they were dyed, dried, sorted and pressed, I'd often take a few stacks in the bedroom with me at night and fold flowers in bed while watching television with my husband. I was pretty proud of these little gems!

A few more homemade decorations were made, like these cardboard circles I'd planned on using behind their high chairs. Markers, stickers and poster-board petals, which hadn't been glued yet:

My BFF Tracy helped me make such an awesome homemade cupcake tier using plastic platters and clear vases from the Dollar Tree. Some of THE BEST cupcakes prepared and decorated by said bestie made for an awesome table arrangement. I made pink Jello in plastic wine glasses leftover from our wedding. The *Smash* cupcakes were HUGE and intricately frosted. A plastic tablecloth was tied as a valance from two doorways. The result was a very nice birthday table! I found a few leftover dyed coffee filter circles hiding in a book and since they hadn't been cut, we used them as doilies underneath the silver Dollar Tree platters.

The balloons were up. The cutesie little princess tutu outfits were steamed. The little crocheted barefoot sandals with pearl buttons and floral embellishments were set aside. We were ready to throw the biggest, bestest twin birthday party EVER! *cue doom music*

...The morning of the party, our little Samantha woke up with 104° fever and cried non-stop. We tried bringing the fever down with children's Tylenol, but the mercury never budged. We ended up taking her to the emergency room after family (and some friends) had arrived bearing gifts and ready to party. With a "show must go on" determination, we left bestie Tracy in charge, notified the rest of the invited guests, and dressed sister Sophia in her party outfit. Luckily the viral infection Samantha had was relatively short lived, but it was a stark reminder of how no matter how much time, effort and preparation you put into a party - be ready to initiate a PLAN B to fall back on when the unthinkable happens.

Sophia shined that day, but she was acutely aware of her sister being absent for most of the party. Although we were relieved that Samantha's condition was going to improve and we were able to bring her home, it was weird seeing Sophia all dolled up without her sister by her side.

When Samantha returned from the E.R., she was in no mood to party. She just wanted to whimper and lay her head on someone's chest. She was a trooper as she watched her sister open their collective presents.

The next day, her fever was gone and Samantha was on the mend. We'd left all the decorations in place. We dressed her up and let her celebrate her 1st birthday with her twin sister, who naturally came down with the same virus several days later. It was great seeing them celebrate together even though it wasn't at the actual party! And who can resist photo ops in matching tutus?

SMASH-CAKE TIME. You're never too sick to smear frosting on your sister and enjoy some Jello "champagne"!

I'm not saying I'll never spend weeks preparing for another one of my kid's birthdays. I'll just be less shocked when it goes awry and we have to resort to a contingency plan. The most invaluable asset we had was a really good friend who was able to orchestrate things in the event of Mom & Dad's unexpected absence. It also helps that this friend is an excellent baker, can decorate cakes like a woman possessed, and crafts like a mother, too. Every mom of multiples needs a Tracy in their life!

Long Holiday Absence

Bad blogger. Bad, baddddd blogger. There it was, September - and then I look up, and it's almost Valentine's Day and I have no blog posts to speak of. What can I say? Life happens.

As I mentioned in Frighting, Feasting & Fa-la-la-la'ing, October - December is a whirlwind for our family. Birthdays, Holidays - all a giant blur. While it's one of the most exciting times of the year for us, and this year was no exception -  it's also the busiest. Although we thrive on all the celebrations, activities and events, we always breathe a sigh of relief in January when we get back into the norm. At least I do. Mr. Richardson hates January and thinks it's the most bland month of the year.

I hope readers don't find it weird that I start with a January update and then work backwards on posting what all went down from October through December in our zany household. We freestyle like that sometimes, and this recollection of events in the posts that follow is just how we're going to roll with it while I reverse-chronologically attempt to wrap up 2013. Promise to be more diligent in 2014!

We had a nice New Year's Eve with our friends Tracy & Gary. We invited them over for a relaxing pajama kinda game night but forgot to wear our PJ's, and they showed up in theirs ... *snicker*...

Game night on NYE was also gourmet night as we dined on citrus crab cakes, bacon-wrapped crackers, sausage-stuffed jalapeno peppers, cheeses, olives, those dreadful crock pot meatballs (gag) and heath bark. We always overcook for simple events with just four adults, but my best friend and I love to cook, so it's a win-win for both the armchair chefs and their better halves, who enjoy chowing down on our menu choices.

 Our two-year old son woke up at five minutes until midnight and rang in the new year with us. The highlight of the night was when he paraded into the kitchen clutching my pink polka-dot bra that I'd thrown haphazardly on the bed when changing. It almost made choking down that one obligatory glass of champagne tolerable!

It's funny how your party mode goes into under-drive when you have small children. We don't NOT drink because we're responsible parents who set fine examples. We don't drink because we have absolutely no tolerance left to alcohol and one or two drinks makes us want to fall into those long, uninterrupted slumbers that people without kids enjoy after getting their buzz on. Having three kids under two years old makes that an impossibility, and you know what? I'm glad, because I don't miss the headaches or the hangovers. Unfortunately, that one Lime-a-rita and half glass of champagne I had on New Years Eve was both yucky and totally unnecessary to keeping our tolerance above a one-drink minimum, because we didn't even serve alcohol at our Super Bowl party. The Saints didn't make it - so what's there to celebrate?

We dumbed our menu down for the Super Bowl also, deciding back in January that six different full-tray appetizers for four adults might be ... a bit much. For the Super Bowl (really, Denver?) we kept it to a minimum with garlic/parmesan baked pretzels, 7-layer taco dip and sausage dip - the same variety we stuffed the peppers with, but omitted this go-round because there wasn't enough Gaviscon in the house to accommodate the four of us.

I look forward to posting soon about our Valentine's Day outing, because MAN, are me and my husband due for some "us" time! First I'll attempt to catch up from the twin's 1st birthday party, Halloween, Thanksgiving, our 2-year old son's birthday and Christmas.

Little Social Creatures

Though not recommended by professional bloggers or most internet enthusiasts who religiously journal in their sleep, I must say that taking an impromptu month-long hiatus from my *notebook* has afforded me a big, much-needed gulp of fresh air. I had recently written about how unremarkable September usually is, and for what it's worth, I still stand by that observation. If I were to compare the entire month of October to the month prior, the change would be so drastically stark that I'd be tempted to think that I was experiencing parallel universes. Just when we think we have our feet firmly planted and our grip white-knuckled and tight, life has a way of spinning us into a complete 360° turnaround. We ritualistically rolled with it, kicking up only a minimal amount of dust. Now as the end-of-month draws near, we take another deep breath as we prepare to usher in the holidays and simultaneously laugh, cry and sigh all at the same time. Memories made; memories in the making.

I was in the throes of planning a party (that tanked due to uncontrollable circumstances), we had the pleasure of a new daily houseguest, and we experienced, for the first time, taking one of our kids to the Children's Hospital emergency room. What follows is the first slice of what is going to be my 3-part missive detailing our busy October.

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As part of our How-To-Make-It-On-One-Income scheme, we decided in favor of taking on an additional child in our home versus me working part-time nights at a call center. The decision was swayed by several factors, but the two biggest deciders were me being able to be present for our family dinners and the kid's bedtime routines, coupled with the incredible luck we had in finding a couple who we knew very well in need of our services for their sweet nine-month-old daughter. It seemed to be a perfect fit, and although we were in the middle of planning for the twin's birthday, it wasn't too big of a change to our routine. My girls enjoyed her company and it was funny watching my nearly 2-year-old son get all wound up with the extra estrogen addition in the room. His antics were turned up a notch or two, as if having a wider audience demanded more stellar performances. It's both notable and hilarious to watch the usual family dynamic flip with an extra baby thrown into the mix. While our routine may not have changed much, our goals certainly did.

Our girls learned a lot from Emma, who at the tender young age of 9 months has the physical agility of a 12-15 month-old. She pulls up, she stands up, and she started cruising literally days before joining our little circus. Watching your child watch another child is amazing. It gives you an interesting dashboard view of what they strive to be capable of. It was quite apparent that Samantha fiercely desired to join Emma in the Land of the Bipeds as she worked her otherwise lax little butt off trying to stand alongside her at the activity table. Sophia greedily coveted her lung capacity and mimicked the volume of her screams, squeals and baby vocals. In BabyVille, time is warped to the point where leaps and bounds literally transpire by leaps and bounds. The first week in her company, Samantha started trying to pull up. New sounds emitted from the usually-silent Sophia, and she turned her volume up a few decibels. My son Adler, an unwilling participant in what I fondly referred to as the Hen Party, asserted his male dominance and imagined superiority in typical rooster fashion, taking every opportunity to show off and act out. He very briefly reverted to infantile whining as a means to ask for things he wanted, but I'm almost certain that the behavior is typical of almost-2-year-olds who are still struggling to fully verbally communicate their needs. 

Although the first week went by quickly, with only a few minor naptime routine hiccups and no major disasters, we found ourselves once again a party of three kids when week two was interrupted by a not-so-minor illness that had us quarantining our children from visitors. More detail to come in a later post, but that short break warranted a do-over of our "get to know each other" acclimation period when the childcare resumed after we all got better. Small children have a very limited recollection, and although Emma wasn't a complete newbie to our kids, it was almost like they just picked up right where they left off. Fortunately for me, her parents are the cool, mellow sort who have the great sense of humor to tolerate the silliness in our household, and wasn't at all opposed to the myriad of crazy photo-ops, videos and shenanigans we partake in around here. There were so many opportunities to don the three girls in silly hats, costumes and situations that I nearly filled up my iPhone with pictures of just the Hens At Play. Emma's mother even provided some of the props (faerie wings, tutus and girly skull caps) for our fiascos! 

I've mentioned before how incredibly lucky I am to have the services and the good company of my elderly dad with me each day, despite the fact that he's getting kind of long in the tooth. He absolutely LIVES for his grandchildren, and it was unfortunate that his health took a left turn on us, rendering him a lot less capable of pulling 8-hour days wrestling and wrangling the children with me. We decided unanimously as a family that he'd scale back his full days in order to take better care of himself. To be fair to both Emma and her parents, we made the decision to opt out of the childcare arrangement for now, as I just wasn't confident or capable enough to handle four kids under two all by my lonesome while nursing a sick dad back to health.

I was and still am grateful to have had the opportunity to socialize my babies for that short period, as I learned a great wealth of information on where their shortcomings were, where their strengths lied, and what we would strive to work on developmentally. I look forward to watching them grow up surrounded by other kids as they get older and to take note of how they interact with each other as they mature. They'll be learning to be moral animals with the human advantage, and the behaviors and social skills they pick up along the way will no doubt shape how they fit into society. Siblings interacting with one another is interesting, but throw in another child outside of their *pack* and you begin to notice new personalities emerging, new behaviors forming, and even new goals that they seem to set for themselves as far as "catching on" goes. If, as they say, there is always an underlying competition present in children, I can testify that there is also a camaraderie and benevolence that is subtle and unspoken, but definitely there. Our little people already have empathy and cooperation hard-wired into their brains, so it stands to reason that it's important to nurture and guide them while you purposefully surround them with their peers. 

We look forward to future playdates and more socialization as our schedule allows!